I know this sounds like im in puberty, im already freakin 27. I have a hard time dealing with humans. Most of the time when im face to face with them I barely have anything to say. A co-worker of mine said to me that we've been working for 3 years now and all that ive said to him can be compiled into just one paragraph and this applies to all of my co-workers.
One time, I was supposed to tell an old boss that I will quit the job after a week, but I somehow froze and in panic ended up saying ill quit that very day.
On an anime convention, this woman stopped me asking me if Id like to have a pocky, japanese cookie stick thing. I think I froze for a while just staring blankly at her, and I didnt knew what to say. She was cute by the way. I passed her again later and dropped my camera when she said hi.
I think a description given to me by an old coworker was that I am painfully shy. I dont think Im shy, and most of the time I just really dont know what to say... and I dont want to give a robotic response.
What about you?...
I want to ask a question but Im not sure what to ask really about this matter. Thanks still.
While I am socially adept as is required by my station ( chatting people up making them laugh and the such ). I actually hate being social. I'm good at it, I simply don't like it. Most people anger me.
I'm pretty much in the same boat as Enfernikus here. I work in a school so have to be social, and have no problem making group speeches, or even whole school speeches. It's just that I'd prefer to be alone (and by alone I mean close people with me). I'm not a big talker.
An old colleague used to say to me all the time "are, you ok? you're quiet". I'd always reply "I'm fine, got nothing to say to you". He was a wanker anyways. Literally had nothing to say to him.
You are not alone cecilia. I am like that as well. I have issues talking to people in person or even on the phone but if its like a text message or over the internet not a problem. I don't know why this is but Its fine with me. When not having to talk to people in person or on phone it allows you to do other things at the same time. However my issue may be worse then yours as according to some doctors i am psychotic. I personally don't see it maybe just a little crazy but we all are in some way. This is why I stick to talking to people and running my own business. I do not need to talk to people as much I have employees that will do it all for me.
Real Programmers always confuse Christmas and Halloween because Oct31 == Dec25 - Andrew Rutherford
knight, somehow I think its like that for me as well. Unless there is a question that I can answer, I would most often be at a loss on what to say. But of course if youd ask me I would really give you a complete answer. like if youd ask me why an apple is red I would try to start from the elements of the apple to how our eyes and brains work I guess...
when i was younger i wanted to be a librarian. So that id work with books all day or files and not deal with people. yeah, I dont even try to apply for such jobs, I know id fail. I mean just imagining myself in sales...
Enfernikus, I guess some people are good at stuff even if they hate doing it. I wonder if id anger you if id talk to you in person.
Hightower, i would really love to try saying that myself: I'm fine, got nothing to say to you. I hope I remember the line when the need arises hihihi. I guess close people are the exceptions for all of us. I mean, theres gotta be atleast one or a few that we can talk to...
Just random thoughts, one time it was said that blind people tend to depend or use their ears more since its what they have, so they tend to be exeptionally proficient in using it. i wonder if people who have a hard time communicating with humans end up getting good at other things instead...
Randy, well looking at the difference, we have the time to think about what we have to say online or through text messages and actually review them before sending them out. Also, our physical reactions are not visible, unless in a webcam, and they say those speak a lot just as much as the words that we say. Tone included as well. Usually you can guess a lot of things about a person with a few lines of text, what more if youre talking face to face... ok that sounds odd to say.
I do not think you are psychotic, you appear to be something else to me. But of course there is a reasonable statistical possibility that... See, if we were talking in person I would have completed the sentence.
hihihi I like that line: I do not need to talk to people as much I have employees that will do it all for me. Well, I hope I can do that too someday.
Well I find when one is exceptionally bad at something they are exceptionally good at another thing. An extreme example being Autistic savants who lack social skills to an immense degree but posses a near calculator like mind.
As for getting me angry, it is very VERY hard to make me angry. Many years of martial arts and the meditation associated with it coupled with many younger siblings have given me a very large amount of patience. Anger is a very strong word by my definition, anger is when you hate and hate is when feel emotions so dark towards a person you wish then end of them. As such I can't ever say I've been angry.
I'm shy when talking to people about just generic things. I don't start up conversations or keep them going very well. However I do enjoy talking about programming, science and philosophy. When any of those topics come up, I jump right in since I'm comfortable with them.
I seem to be in a similar boat as most people here. I can only really talk to someone who actually will give me feedback, it's stupid for me to be like this but I only will talk to someone who is "with me". I don't think I'm shy, I just value the little time we have. If I have to "waste" time talking about "this guys new girlfriend, or how someone's sister's friend was arrested for hitting a cop (even if she was drunk and clearly in the wrong)" I just don't place an intellectual value to those. So I dismiss them as rubbish.
I fear that I will live a lonely and secluded life. I may accomplish a lot but who would I share it to?
I fear that too but at the same time I think that if you can accomplish a lot, you've shared with everyone in someway already at least. I'd love to share with another but in the foreseeable future, it probably won't happen but not even that prospect will change what I am doing.
Enfernikus, I wanted to say the same thing sorta. I wonder if I wouldve traded a bit of Autism just to get a bit smarter... or maybe I am alsready a bit autistic, but I dont think im smart... argh.
Hmmm the end of them huh. Im learning quite a lot in this forum honestly.
Knight, I actually wanted to conduct a mini experiment and ask people that very question, to see how they would respond. I somewhat predicted your answer was gonna be the most popular response.
Ryanmr, yeah I think humans tend to do just that at times, avoiding topics that they dont know about. I guess its logical since you wont be able to say much anyway - like you cant contribute anything, which probably leads to self-esteem and other matters.
Adamdecaf, yes I agree. I guess not also just people giving us feedback but non-aggressive or negative feedback. I guess thats why we all tend to choose who we talk to. I mean we can predict the outcome of a conversation before we go on with it, why start or proceed if we know it leads to bad things...
Some types of people are just a bit extra unique that they end up alone - not that they dont want to socialize, theres just not enough of their kind, or those of another class who can give them a positive or acceptable response.
As for accomplishment or legacy, Ive been thinking about this a long time ago and I somewhat agree with ryanmr that through your legacy you continue to communicate and retain some manner of human value, even through death, whenever your contribution is used by other people. As long as it is not discarded or forgotten that is. Well, this is actually a very broad topic on its own so...