Completely padded form all that is going around it, basic is the easiest language out there. Although it is not capable of going many places, or being in open water, it is simple enough for a 18 month old to use.
Coldfusion (The Titanic)
A giant, expensive, resource hog among laguages. Didn't go far forward before going down.
COBOL (Completely Obsolete Boring Old Language) (canoe)