User Agent Parsing
 

http://user-agent-string.info/

Snazzy little resource right there, even though the download for it is very poorly written PHP (which makes one worry a little about the backend).

I was considering bundling this in with a statistics plugin for Wordpress that I maintain, however I'm worried about the additional overhead/access time that it may add. One of the key features of my plugin is how fast it is, and I don't want to lose that.

I'd use Browscap, but for some reason that I can't fathom, the PHP developers decided to make the browscap ini setting system only. Meaning I can't just bundle browscap.ini with the plugin and point the script to it with ini_set() and then use get_browser() like I should be doing. This is a huge wtf, but also something that I can't change, so I'm looking for alternatives.

Does anybody know of a fast user-agent parser that runs off one of these aggregate lists? My built-in list is rather pathetic with it's few hundred rows compared to their 10 thousand+ known user agents.