Oh dear, judging from that snippet its gonna be a right ordeal to un-kludge the CMS.
Very amusing however, brought a smile to my face.

We don't have much code like that at work (I hope!), ours is just littered with comedic code comments.

I keep meaning to have a proper look at asp.net, I spent about 2 years writing VB (vb6.0 and .net, about a year each non professional) spent a few months faffing with C# too so it would be a logical choice for me to learn, I do prefer the simplicity of PHP development however.

I must say I really like the new Beast of Redmond languages / tools especially the Express editions.

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mysql> SELECT * FROM `users` WHERE `users`.`clue` > 0;
Empty set (0.00 sec)