PHP, Javascipt, HTML, CSS, C++, VB (6 and .NET). I have done bits of Java but never really could be bothered with it, tried my hand at OpenGL and got ok with it, but i wouldn't call it fluent. Gave ruby a try (as wildhoney said, via a tutorial) never really got why it was better than PHP, too much of a faff for my liking.

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mysql> SELECT * FROM `users` WHERE `users`.`clue` > 0;
Empty set (0.00 sec)